Hillstone Haters Need To Back Off
Consistency beats variety any day
Many of you may recall Olee Fowler’s hit piece from a few months back titled “Let’s Be Honest, Hillstone Isn’t Great at Anything Except Consistency.” And while I love Olee, I couldn’t let this one slide.
And who am I you may ask? I’m just the intern, but I’m also Hillstone Restaurant Group’s self-proclaimed number one fan, so I’ve gotta speak my truth.
Olee’s article was what actually introduced me to The Leftovers Miami. It was brought to my attention that The Leftovers were part of the one percent that weren’t obsessed with the spinach and artichoke dip, which was definitely a red flag. Still, it was summer and I needed an internship so…here we are.
But this is besides the point: Today I’m telling you all why Olee is wrong.
Hillstone is consistently great. Why’s that wrong?
Comparing Hillstone to an upscale Chili’s has become one of the internet’s favorite takes, but it misses the mark. Hillstone, Houston’s, The Honor Bar - it doesn’t matter what you call it, every meal ends with the same thought: When can I come back?
Consistency is the motto, but more importantly it’s consistently delicious. The spinach and artichoke dip has a cult following for a reason. The sushi rolls stand up to nearly any high-end sushi bar serving up mediocre rolls for double the price. I’d take the Coconut Shrimp roll over anything at Nobu. The knife-and-fork barbecue ribs fall easily off the bone, and rival any BBQ spot in Miami. I could go on. Ding’s Crispy Chicken Sandwich, the Hawaiian Ribeye, the French Dip, all impeccable. To Olee’s point, the menu has stayed the same for decades, but as the old saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
In an industry where service has gotten noticeably worse, Hillstone’s strict program has kept service, like the food, consistently great. Waiters have no more than three tables at a time, allowing them superb attention to detail. Never once are you waiting for a water or soda refill. Hot towels on request are the baseline.
Run out of chips for your artichoke dip? Another plate is flying in. You’d think people obsessed over free chips and salsa would appreciate that. Don’t even worry about waiting for the check because they truly want you out of there as soon as possible, which I have no problem with.
At Hillstone, the good far outweighs the (minimal) bad
The restaurant group is notorious for its strict set of rules, some of which I could live without. But most of which actually make the experience better.
The “No parties above four” rule has made it difficult to dine there as a family of five.
At first I was a little perplexed at the “no fries for takeout” rule, but then I thought they’re probably doing me a favor. Let’s be honest, have you ever waited to eat your Mcdonald’s fries? After 10 minutes they’re basically inedible.
Hillstone actually enforces its dress code. The restaurant highly discourages children, which some may frown upon. But like most childless adults, I believe not every meal needs to double as a daycare.
No, you’re not going to be wowed by the dining room or new experimental recipes. Then again, I’d say the vast majority of people dining out for dinner don’t care about your buildout or use of lavender foam.
But you will be floored by the attentive service, attention to detail and delicious comfort food. Hillstone succeeds where others fail, and I, for one, love knowing that my martini glass will always be frosted and my ribs will fall off the bone, the same way they have my entire life. That to me is a peak dining experience.