If I See That Damn Hotdog with Caviar and Gold Again, It May Be The End of Me
Thank God They Got Back to the Drawing Board with the Gold Digger
Editor’s Note: Don’t call me a hater, but I’ve always felt that eating a hotdog in public is rather phallic.
So, as you know - my life is a myriad journey of stories. And collecting friendships around the world. So I want to preface this hot take by sharing that this is by no means a FU to the viral epicurean spot Chevre, which I actually featured in my column in Aventura Magazine recently. Nor is it an intended insult to its founder Mario, whose wedding I actually crashed in Panama a long, long time ago with my ‘brother’ Kenny Baboun. But it’s rather a little piece on the ad nauseam images that have been circulating on all of our social media accounts over the past few months.
I must admit that a few months back when this golden situation hit the cyber world at a rather fast pace in honor of The Miami Open, I asked Chevre’s PR guru Mike Hicks to host me to try the ‘Golden Glizzy’ alongside my fearless cousin Danielle of Old Miami, who claims she once did something viral with a hotdog on YouTube and could take one for the team on camera for our Leftovers Tik Tok. But with my relentless travel schedule, that was ‘God’s Plan’ for me to not break my public aesthetic protocols. So here I am to say that yes, it was a brilliant marketing ploy. Yes, I was willing to try it back then. And yes, it’s time for it to go away. After it was served at F1 this past week, maybe it’s adieu for good?
Wagyu this, Wagyu that… and even though I love caviar, I agree with Matthew Meltzer’s piece titled ‘Enough With The F***ing Caviar.’ Like give it a break as it’s currently splattered on everything. Love it on a blini per se at a cocktail party at Colin Cowie’s home, but exploding on a piece of meat with gold? Chill!
As aforementioned, Wagyu is another annoying over-used word. However, congrats to Chevre because no matter how nauseated I feel seeing it over and over - now the whole world knows about it. But the thought of a coronary as a result from a tacky Australian Wagyu hot dog on a Ficelle Bakery croissant bun, topped with crème fraîche, mascarpone, 30 g of Classic Ossetra, chives and 24-karat edible gold flakes is simply not chic. I mean, who needs all of those ingredients in one bite - it’s like BOGO, spend 100 and walk away with a clogged artery?
Decadence is cute, but no gracias.
Lastly, while I was in India most recently doom scrolling, I noticed that they launched the ‘Gold Digger’ for F1. Once again, brilliant as we know how many GD’s are in this beloved Magic City and were likely meandering around Hard Rock Stadium. A Wagyu beef bresaola, Black truffle mayo, Golden Goat Caviar (my fave), onion confit, crispy onion and 24k gold most certainly would seem more up my alley with a side order of a diuretic. But if I’m not banned from Mike’s pitches moving forward, I’ll keep you posted on what’s happening at this trending, epicurean joint that is expanding brilliantly throughout SoFla. Stay tuned. XX.