I deserve to win because I bring the sizzle to every situation and never steak my responsibilities lightly. I’ll be there to meat expectations, wine a little, and ensure no delicious bite goes up in smoke. In short: I’m rare, well-seasoned, and ready to burn some calories in the tastiest way possible
So I should win it because I got married at the Biltmore 4 years ago and my wife swore that I could go back there and go golfing (a benefit of getting married there is club membership) and four years in I have yet to go. This is despite trying MANY times, she always seems to find some reason why I can't go to coral gables on a random Sunday *including* trying to convince her once to go to a similar food event there a year ago. But for pork... For pork? Shed finally let me go back to the Biltmore for a pork festival.
Help me finally make her keep promise that I can go back (even if I don't go golfing there that day). Oh also... Fort Lauderdale too. Like any Miamian, we need a good reason to go there.
I should be the one stuffing my face because few people take food, fire, and flavor as seriously as I do. I track my macros, treat my body like a temple, and still believe in the holy balance of a perfectly charred rib and a premium pour.
Also, as a Miami poet, I can promise to give this feast the lyrical appreciation it deserves… the smoke rising like a stanza, the fat dripping like enjambment.
And honestly? I’d bring the kind of joyful, grateful, hype-man energy that makes any VIP section feel like the holidays.
This little piggy doesn’t want to stay home ! Pick me choose me! 🥃 🐷
I deserve to win because I bring the sizzle to every situation and never steak my responsibilities lightly. I’ll be there to meat expectations, wine a little, and ensure no delicious bite goes up in smoke. In short: I’m rare, well-seasoned, and ready to burn some calories in the tastiest way possible
So you should pick me cause I like food and I am fat. Enough said
So I should win it because I got married at the Biltmore 4 years ago and my wife swore that I could go back there and go golfing (a benefit of getting married there is club membership) and four years in I have yet to go. This is despite trying MANY times, she always seems to find some reason why I can't go to coral gables on a random Sunday *including* trying to convince her once to go to a similar food event there a year ago. But for pork... For pork? Shed finally let me go back to the Biltmore for a pork festival.
Help me finally make her keep promise that I can go back (even if I don't go golfing there that day). Oh also... Fort Lauderdale too. Like any Miamian, we need a good reason to go there.
I cannot even attempt to surpass the food puns already. I just want to see Diandra (my +1) drool over Giorgio.
because my love language is “unlimited bites” and my enneagram is “vip pours.”
I have two toddlers. I'm ready to have something other than chicken nuggets while watching Ms. Rachel.
I should be the one stuffing my face because few people take food, fire, and flavor as seriously as I do. I track my macros, treat my body like a temple, and still believe in the holy balance of a perfectly charred rib and a premium pour.
Also, as a Miami poet, I can promise to give this feast the lyrical appreciation it deserves… the smoke rising like a stanza, the fat dripping like enjambment.
And honestly? I’d bring the kind of joyful, grateful, hype-man energy that makes any VIP section feel like the holidays.
Pick me. I’ll honor the fire.